Welcome, darling…
I have created this space to share my experience as a young-ish widow. As much for me as for you. I realized that I yearn for a wide-open space free from others’ judgements, to share MY experience of the deepest loss and what comes after.
When my mate, Daniel, died in 2014 from cancer, I used to share my journey of widowhood on social media. It seemed natural to continue after he died, as we had created a FB page so his community could follow along. Mostly so he wouldn’t need to repeat over and over how he was doing. Which can be exhausting and depressing.
While sharing my grief was also sometimes depressing, writing it out was cathartic and soul-satisfying. It wasn’t easy, but each time I captured a grief bubble into a snapshot of words and photos, there was always a sense of relief when I hit “send”. Kissing that particular moment goodbye to float across the universe. As if this act prevented it from finding further residence within the breast bones of my heart. The words encapsulating it, leaving me a tiny bit lighter. It was my form of art. And while, never my intent, I loved that it often offered comfort for others’ to be with their own grief, or the grief of another.
But at some point I stopped sharing. Feeling judged for “not moving on with my life”, whatever the fuck that means. (Oh, and I say fuck now). Being told to stop ‘living in the past’ or being so sad. I felt so unseen and misunderstood. Especially when I know Daniel would 1000% love it if any of my heartbreak inspired me to write. And that he has provided me a lifetime of material to send my words and stories forth into, well, wherever they may travel.
My wish that sharing my experience will give space for other widows to grieve and find meaning in life now. For us to collectively be bolder in sharing the messy experience of grief, instead of bottling it up. I am amazed by the fact that we will all experience grief and loss, but we don’t talk about it!
I am on a mission to change that. To normalize it (it is natural, afterall). And be a stand for courageous spaces to share our heartbreak for however long it is there to share. Maybe. Even. >gasp< Forever.
Welcome 💗
